Today I noticed that my daughter was making funny noises which oddly ressembled the sounds my wife makes in bed. When I asked her what she was doing she said "I'm pretending to be mommy from last night." I was on a business trip last night. SML

I remember when i be small pinkin and I want jerk off so bad and no more vaseline for house. The only lubricate way i see na my mama bengay, na so i rub am for my prick ooo. Chei, that thing pepper ooo.

last night i wanted to send a txt to some shawtie...explaining all the crude things i wanted to do to her.....woke up this morning to find a text from my mother saying we need to talk....the girls name is one above my mums on my contact....i don diee

OKAY .so i went 2 give blood and the lady on d counter asked me if i have been in an african country for more dan one year..i was like year nigeria.she said "am sorry , u cant give blood.u have been in an hiv populated area" i was like smh. see me over here tying 2 help ur country and u are telling me i have hiv..i waka from dat place oo b4 vex catch me and her punch her in her face,,,,..hmmm...just to steroetypical...chie

Today, I went to Stony Brook University and discovered that my girlfriend of over 12 years shot herself because her lover got married to a striper.

I'm stuck on 3rd mainland bridge traffic and I have left to no gas in my car...I don dieee

Today I was in the train thinking about this beautiful woman that I had long conversation with and I noticed this dude looking at me. He started showing effeminate behaviors and with a female voice asked me my name. I shouted at him, "get out" and he just ran away. Am not down with anything Gay! Of course everybody in the train looked at me and I got lucky- a pretty lady came and sat close to me to console me. Cmylife ..lol

Today i woke up and realized Im not Nigerian. SML

I went to this sushi bar with my girl today only to find out the place was a buffet. all well and good, i was excited but after eatin a bit of everything in there, the waiter brought the bill and it was $80 i was shocked but i had to play it off. chei car note and phone bill is due tomorrow. see my life

I've always wanted to come to America land of opportunity!..Now am here..no opportunity..I WANT TO GO BACK TO NIGERIA!!..SEE MY LIFE O!