Ever since I was born, I've had a lazy eye. This morning my boyfriend broke up with me. He thought it was funny to state that we just weren't looking at life in the same way. SML

Today I was in the train thinking about this beautiful woman that I had long conversation with and I noticed this dude looking at me. He started showing effeminate behaviors and with a female voice asked me my name. I shouted at him, "get out" and he just ran away. Am not down with anything Gay! Of course everybody in the train looked at me and I got lucky- a pretty lady came and sat close to me to console me. Cmylife ..lol

While getting my hair done, I was annoyed that the beautician was not paying attention while straightening my hair. After asking her three times to watch what she was doing, I grabbed the iron and said "let me do it, you're going to burn me!". I then burned two layers of skin off my ear. See my life

The store that I work in closes at 10pm but I was already exhausted around 9:50pm when a beautiful lady walked up to my registered with goods worth about $1800. I proceed to ask her what method of payment she will like to use for her payment and this crazy lady brought out 1800 one dollar bills out of her wallet. It took me about 20 minutes to make sure I had the correct amount. I need a new job! SML

I'm stuck on 3rd mainland bridge traffic and I have left to no gas in my car...I don dieee

see my life i have been in love with a chick now for a while...today she asks me if i know that she is talking to other guys and asks if im okay with it...seemylife

Today, I went to the mall, at the register was this cute chick. I gave her my card, and they declined it. Gave her the second one, same thing. I was embarrassed and was about to leave when she said, "I was just messing with you."

I thought when I arrive in the United States, I will be living so comfortable but I am driving cab during the day and packing old people’s feces at night for 6 days a week. I want to go back to Nigeria

I had an asthma attack while my boyfriend and I was having sex today, instead of him stopping when he saw me gasping for air, he kept pounding me harder thinking that I was enjoying the sex. SML

So it was about to be a banging saturday night cap...just had a banging night at the club, vodka was flowing down like water falls..Got the shawtie on my arm headed back to the hotel...while rapping to her on the ride..in my mind i'm already seeing all that's going to go down when all of a sudden i see a projectile come out of the shawties mouth....lets just say i can taste all she had to eat and drink in my mouth and i can see it all over my fly ass outfit....i spent the night cleaning up and in the back seat of a car....see my fucking life