Today I noticed that my daughter was making funny noises which oddly ressembled the sounds my wife makes in bed. When I asked her what she was doing she said "I'm pretending to be mommy from last night." I was on a business trip last night. SML

Today i woke up and realized Im not Nigerian. SML

After waiting for the bus for 2hrs, i opened my bag to get my wallet so i could pay my fare until i realized my wallet was lost. SML ooo

See me see trouble o. I sliced tomatoes, onions and fresh pepper, and soon after i went to the toilet. I let down my underwear and grabbed my PA to urinate. Now the "chairman" is on fire.

OKAY .so i went 2 give blood and the lady on d counter asked me if i have been in an african country for more dan one year..i was like year nigeria.she said "am sorry , u cant give blood.u have been in an hiv populated area" i was like smh. see me over here tying 2 help ur country and u are telling me i have hiv..i waka from dat place oo b4 vex catch me and her punch her in her face,,,,..hmmm...just to steroetypical...chie

Today, my job application was rejected because I was overqualified. This is the same company that rejected me 2 years ago for being under-qualified. SML

Smh..after hurricane sandy I stayed on gas line for 5hrs only to hear that there's no more gas when I was two cars closer to d gas pump..sml

I've always wanted to come to America land of opportunity!..Now am here..no opportunity..I WANT TO GO BACK TO NIGERIA!!..SEE MY LIFE O!

I went to this sushi bar with my girl today only to find out the place was a buffet. all well and good, i was excited but after eatin a bit of everything in there, the waiter brought the bill and it was $80 i was shocked but i had to play it off. chei car note and phone bill is due tomorrow. see my life

last night i wanted to send a txt to some shawtie...explaining all the crude things i wanted to do to her.....woke up this morning to find a text from my mother saying we need to talk....the girls name is one above my mums on my contact....i don diee